JUST ANOTHER GIRL WITH SOCIAL ANXIETY

While growing up, I kept complaining to my mum that people(in public) always look at me so so so so so much. Have I emphasized enough? She told me that I’d get used to it. Well, I’m 23 now and they’re still staring, Mom!

Most of my friends who I walk with in town/ public places, normally complain that guys are staring. haha, sorry I don’t know why they do it. I just politely reply “that ukitembea na Mimi itabidi uzoee”

A couple of times I’ve been to dates (like twice, I don’t go to dates often, story for another day) where the guys have pointed out that the ladies serving us “wameniangalia vibaya”
I don’t know whether they tell me this to promote female rivalry or what because personally when I’m alone, I barely notice such things until it’s pointed out to me.

These kind of scenarios got me wondering, how am I going to live going forward?

For instance, the other day (to be specific Saturday) I was in the supermarket with my sister and gosh, have you ever thought you’re trending somewhere and you don’t know? Or your printed picture lays somewhere plastered on a tree written “WANTED”, Or a picture written “thief” is on the supermarket notice board showing a nervous you stealing from the supermarket’s shelves. Or worst case scenario, your face is somewhere plastered on a tree (several trees) printed, “MAPENZI,NGUVU ZA KIUME, PESA! CALL THIS NUMBER 0712345678”

how the poster would look like

Back to the storytime. I was busy window shopping for the TV I’d want in future (a girl can only dream) when these two guys (millennials, men, maybe early 20s) stared at me suspiciously. You know, that kind of stare just before someone says hi. That one. I had to walk in between them to make them stop staring. They never did say hi even though I could see it in their eyes…

It felt like an episode of an Indian movie where me as a character would turn and bang their 2 heads together and they would fall! I would then stand on them victoriously and proclaim, “Staring is rude guys!!”
They’d learn their lesson and never stare. Again.

I digress.

So, at this point I know you might be wondering whether I’m the one asking for the attention, maybe by “my dressing” or sth. But lemme be honest, when I’m dressed to kill, I am normally comfortable with the stares because, you know, I’d stare at myself too??
But when all I’m wearing is some baggy jeans, a hoodie and no make-up, plus I had my ugly glasses, like bro? 😭 nothing about me would/should pass interest.

I really wished the two gentlemen did say hi or sth because this would have definitely mitigated the awkwardness. They dead-ass triggered my anxiety!

Point of this long story is, SAY HI GUYS whenever we meet in these streets. I don’t bite!

That’s it for today’s post, HAPPY NEW MONTH ☺️.

If you suffer from anxiety, the link below might be of help. You are welcome!
https://youtu.be/kKR_zc37RQI

2 thoughts on “JUST ANOTHER GIRL WITH SOCIAL ANXIETY

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